.:: life is a beach ::.

12.6.04

.:: ::.

im starting to hate html more and more today..it took me anout 3 days just to finish my template but up to now i still cant get my tag-board to work without my whole blog missing or shrinking or whatever...
i havent watched troy yet...and i dont think i could watch it today because my sis's friends are coming over to shoot a video for my sis's video class...i envy her there..she has all the class that i wanted ever first it was drawing then it was photography now its video..i dont know..i really like my future to be going to the artsy way but my mom is still inlove with the thought of me making them money by selling me to nursing..i just hope that i still have a slot in us for that nursing job because nursing here in the philippine sucks bigtime..speaking of futures..i really really want to work on pixar animation studios..i know a lil farfetched but hey its my dream...well my plan now is go on with the nursing shit then maybe when i establish myself well enough in the states im gonna take up some art thing as a hobby or whatever like that girl ive watched on oprah where she's a doctor at the morning but dj at night..that would be so cool...but now..all i can do is enjoy the present and see what the future has in store for me..
ive been having the feeling that my mom doesnt really give a damn about my sis[older] it was a joke at first but with what i learned today..im thinking maybe that joke isnt really that far from reality..you see its like this my sis is in desperate need of a video cam today to start shooting for her homework..so my dad/mom said that they would just borrow the video cam of our aunt who migrated in hk[again after that sars thing] that they left behind in laguna..but when they asked the one that supposedly has the cam she said that she was in the province so we cant get the cam until tom..that pissed my sister off because she already has a plan earlier about borrowing our coach's cam..since she really really need the cam today she still went to our coach's house [eventhough its raining] so when my parents came back from their bed hunting[for my sister cuz her bed is going to our cousin who would be staying here because he'll be studying at perpetual] they learned that my sis have left for the video cam and naturally my mom was pissed because she couldnt understand the reason why my sis really needs that camera now..and my dad was calm..i mean its like..'oh ok..' and just asked a lil detail about where she's going blah blah...so anyway..when i talked to ate lea about my sis she said to me that she already told my mom that they should fetch my sis[wherever she is now]because it was raining really hard but she said something like 'hmpf!she did that to herself let her go home by herself' and to think my dad was trying to contact her so he would fetch her..shit..i dont really want to think about it that much cuz maybe my mom's just having a bad day but i dont know..

i thing happened yesterday that made me think that maybe guys are like that they give you some kind of signs that they dig you then our overactive imagination interpret it to many romantic things..the dream that we use to hide from reality..but we all cant avoid it..it all happened to us one time or another right?we all end up crying because of our stupid heart and its accusations but we all stand up from the fall and let the wounds heal and walk up straight again to face reality with another piece of knowledge in our belt...so i think hard as it might we need those kind of things in life yeah..lesson learned..
[i hate you but i love you i cant stop thinking of you its true im stuck on you]

Another Beach Bum slept after12.6.04....