·cHa_12·
·right now im feeling...
aka:cHa|chatoh|charisse|chic¤
loves to play basketball¤optimistic?
¤cheerful¤bubbly?¤
childlish¤hates school hehe Ü
¤slow...=þ¤loves the
number 12[duuuhh]¤always[?]infatuated
never inlove...;)¤confused¤observant
¤addicted to candy[anykind]
¤LOVES to eat¤
and will eat almost anything in sight hehe
¤quiet when uncomfortable¤likes
boys hihi ;]¤sweet to anyone..i think
¤im cute! hey
its my blog...let me do my thing hehe
¤i think im nice...kinda..i dunno
¤insomiac¤artistic
¤always smiling¤carefree!
¤not a responsible student hehe¤
boorkworm..hehe¤matalas ang dila hahaha!¤
i suck at english!¤not easily afraid¤
strong outside but actually sensitive..¤
hopeless romantic¤a typhical libra¤
a die hard iverson fan!!¤simple¤quiet¤
easily ammused¤loves to draw,and i think im good¤
hypeeeerrrr haha!jke!¤i love my friends and i treasure them o so much
¤opinionated¤i dont know how to relase my anger[i think ill
die from this one day eheh]¤punkrock princess¤
chocoholic¤always behing the looking glass¤
angelic?devilish?¤always broke¤
always concerned¤
·Links·
*bloggers:
ciAring
fel_chris
ang idol ko =]
luisa
trisha
marmie
liezl
charlie
jovellita
shahira!
therese
terrie
trishiyeah
adrian
mulan's sensitive reaction
pao_15
kakai
pao_blu_18
others...
weztzyd kada site
dynamic drive provides dhtml..
javascript another one
how to keep an idiot busy hehe
fanfiction.net want something to read?
open mind : ignorance
·bLog stuff·
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archives
03_08 03_12 04_01 04_05 04_06 04_07 04_08 04_09 04_10 04_11 04_12 05_01 05_02 05_03 05_04 05_05 05_06 05_07 05_08 05_10 05_11 05_12 06_01 06_06 06_07 06_08 07_05 08_07 12_02 12_11
movie marathon
ive watched amelie, wicker park and dirty dancing in one stitting and now im currently watching how to lose a guy in 10 days...wow..hehe i know that it was kinda weird to watch all that in one sitting but....we were bored...so...there you are
amelie was really a fell-good movie...it just sucks that our copy has this commentary thing that wouldnt just shut off..sucks but i really did appriciated the movie it was really cute and all =] the ending was soooo cute =] hahahah love that movie and eventhough that stupid commentary thing was in the way...really did like that movie..her smile was a lil creepy though...that i-know-something-that-you-dont smile...but anyway watch it =]
next was wicker park really good movie plus the fact that josh hartnet was the lead was a bonus =] ive heard from a radio station that it was originally a french movie soa nyway it was a really good movie with a really good twist =] felt that anger for alex hehe i mean she was down right selfish any way i wont say another word in case you have'nt watched that movie..well its really really good =]
dirty dancing...my second time to watch that movie and i still feel that waff-y [warm and fuzzy feeling] thing hehe i really adored that guy who played javier i think his name was diego luna...he's so cute!!!i mean its with the smile and the moves..hehehhe i think that he was really really adorable heheh =] love that guy he's like the orlando bloom of cuba *faints* any way looking forward to that movie that my sis going to buy..the calcium kid..heheh orlando bloom..in two hours whoa! hehehe
now im watching how to lose hehe and kinda bored cuz ive seen that movie for i dunno 6 times?whatever but still a pretty cute movie =]
diego luna alexander!
yep yep sitll crazy in-love with this guy :D he's so cute =] he's the kind of person that could make you stop breathing fo r awhile and just stop and look and feel like the whole world stops and its just him in his os so handsome face =] oh yeah he has a site www.diego-luna.net heheh googled him...and now im drooling in all this pics...haaayyy iba talaga =] is this lab?hahaha jke jke jke
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after28.11.04....
happiest day of my life...so far =]
so it all started a lil bit crummy like all days are because you simply have to wake up [hahah] neiwey went to ateneo [oo!first time ko bkt ba?!] to watch the college's championship and unfortunatelly we lost that one[and i was cheering my ass off at that time..dancing ang screaming and all that shit]..bullshit msmang pakitain ito...so we ate with a heavy heart and just went back to the bus thats when mon and i had a very very brilliant idea to tour the ateneo campus by walking and find a particular gym in where the alaska aces practices[and by what ive learned also the coca cola team] so we walked [if you know ateneo its from the loyola gym to the newer on which is a good 5 pesos tryc] and talked and thinking about the things that could happen within the next hour of walking and searching and lo and behold we finally reached it...and while we were finding an entrance we saw this guy exit from the place so we looked inside..the first thing i saw was a guy that i didnt know that was playing basketball then mon suddenly pulled me and started jumping and shit because he saw ej file so that could only mean one thing..that the alaska team are there..a fricking door away so we asked the guy if we could enter and he said yeah so we did and there he was...mike cortez...and i couldnt move...even when he came near us [to go upstairs] i cant move and i was holding a digicam at that time [i know stupid stupid body...just wouldnt budge] so he went upstairs..thinking that they are just going there to get something..we took it as nothing and just waited for them to come down..about a few minutes later my sis and dea arrived [we told them that we saw mike] so we just watched this old guy play and we asked him about playing and stuff so we played..and yeah i have a pic of myself 'gripping' an alaska-and1-ball...the very same ball that they use...so about an hour later of just fooling around..our coach [i think it was nya nya who texted mon mon..neiwey] so went back...again with that heavy feeling..but i think just seeing himis enough...but still could have been much better if i had a pic...
so neiwey back to alabang...just as we were walking i saw gio alvarez..one of my crush so i was happy again heheh then i remembered about that birthday thing in fel's house so i called pao [my twin :D] and we talked about it and i learned that it was cancelled so that heavy feeling yet again then she said something that makes me feel so...good and happy...you see she was planning on buying me a phone [because mine's a shitload of well..shit] because we [yes i also think that] should always have a one-click connection because i miss her terribly...i mean i feel like im drifting away from her..because she's busy and all...and now with the sun cellular with all that free call time...were wasting some valuable bonding time!shit anyway from what she said..she was saving some money just to buy me a phone and a sun sim so i was soooo touched =] i mean i really feel like rolling in the ground [mutley thing] and just feel the 'being wanted' feeling =] it was so nice =] so anyway..now im planning on buying that buy one take one phone [500...it 1000 but me and pao's gonna split it..so duh' 500] and pao's gonna give me a sun sim [as a gift] and im planning [hey really thought about my gift] on saving my money to buy her gift [which by the way is kinda expensive for a....heeh but really good :D] then i ended my town touring [hey i felt like it was like months eventhouhg i think it was just weeks since ive been there..] with a firework display which was good and all =] it was such a lovely day =]
leason learned:
1. dont let any oppurtunity pass you by especialy if it goes by the name of mike cortez
2. fireworks do work..they illuminate the skies as well as a sad face..heheh
3. carefree happiness is just a simple click[phonecall] away [thanks pao my beloved twin]
4. life is always balanced...where there is a ying there will always be a yang..=]
5. if your happy....dont ask why...just simply be happy..because thats what its really about...
6. you dont need another piece to somplete you...because simply youre already complete
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after27.11.04....
being vain..hehhehe sharing a pic..nothin much about it...in my momment of turmoil...im still vain..*sigh*
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after26.11.04....
melting noses
hehe weird..but anyway this all started when i saw a guy that was oh so familliar to me..i kinda looked at him for sometime...thinking who the hell did he remind me of then it hit me..it was my ex..he's a frickin' carbon copy of my ex and the worst[or i dunno weird..?] part is that he's a first year and he's a nursing student so i could expect to see him almost everyday of my life if fate by chance wants to make me any more miserable...so yeah..i always see him walking here and there..nothing special [yet i still look at him..and there was this time that i kinda stared at him at our field trip....bad..?] then just this thus when i was waiting for aif's class to finish he magically pop up out of nowhere and went to the other door of that class...seems like he was also waiting for someone from that class...and so i didnt mind him and all...just laughed and shit with the people i was with then sha asked me 'cha un b ung kamuka nun ex mo?' i said yeah [and i dont want to look cuz i already saw him in my peripheral vision] 'oh...ala ksi kanina pa tingin ng tingin dito e' my mind went blank...did he already know me?was he staring at me or staring at the other person that was behing me or anywhere near me....or did he saw me looking at him so he was thinking of somethin else...omg...i dont wanna know really...neiwey i posted a pic here so you could look at him...he's the one holding the bomb...here's a pic of my ex..isnt that convinient??
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after26.11.04....
robbed...almost
how?well it was like this...i was just walking and thinking about my crappy day and all abut that 'nurses shouldnt wear backpacks' shit while i was crossing [casimiro to friendship] i felt a tug in my backpack and i was like what the fuck!? so i looked and right on my back was a guy [with a girl] who snatched his hand away "just in time for i wont see it" all critical thinking left my brain and i just said "oi!" and he kinda walked fast and i looked at his fist thinking that he already took something that was mine and so i held on to him and said "hoi!" a lil bib louder and he said something like "may ibang nagbukas ng bag mo" and i still held on to him and looked at my backpack and saw my wallet so i just said 'oi' again and he kinda shouted to no one in particullar i think 'hoi ate may nawawala daw sa kanya!' so i just left it there because i already saw my wallet [which in fact is the only thing worth stealing so i was saving it] and held on to my bag and think...if he really was just closing my bag...why did i felt that tug because think about it when he was really just closing the zipper i should have felt my bag being pulled up...well thank god that that fucked up mmda didnt stop us from crossing or else...i would be missing a thing from my bag
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after23.11.04....
wall climbing..yet again
yep went wall climbing again yesterday and today...i cant lift somethings!hahaha cant bend my arms that well though..hurts like hell...and i think i have atleast 4 something on my knees...but it was kinda worth it =] heheh i nearly climbed the whole slanted wall..it was like 4 to 5 rocks away from the top...it was a little disappoiting and all because i was so near...but after hanging for about i dunno ten minutes...my arms gave up =[ so sad...but im gonna climb that thing if i really have to fall..hard..or ridiculed[all our kuyas there were teasing me because i was so slow in climbinghey so sue me...im not a fucking expert or anything!?but its all good..still like them eventhough they give me free climbs heheheh]....hai buhay nga naman e nuh....
trent!
yepyepyep :D i have the trent lane syndrome =] im diggin rocker shit hahaha or i really like those people wjo are particullarly musically inclinned harhar =] but yep i have the trent syndrome =] and im proud of it!hey he's cute and he's a good [ehem this is my page any comments....tell me...hahaha] singer and guitarist and that oh so raspy but suave voice...and poetic nature [hey in some way] and those piercings...grrrrr hahhaah im getting so weird...hey either that or some other things...other weirder things hahhahaha =] hey think of it this way...i love brandon of incubus..bamboo of bamboo or rahter aira of bamboo[oh faint!]....omg!groupie n b ako!?
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after16.11.04....
wall climbing!!!!
yepdid the thing that i never thought i would do...wall climbing. why? because ever since that faithful day in hong kong i was kinda scared of heights or as i like to put it...i am scared to death of dying...neiwey it was uber fun! and the instructor kept on insisting that i was a hs or rather grade school student grr...im not taht cute am i hahahahah jke jke jke =] they were fun to chat with....
eventhough i only got to the top 1 tym [out of 4 tries..how lame of me] ok...it was like this:
1st try: i got to the top though my arms were killing me...oh yeah while i was on the top the guy holdin the rope bellow suddenly brought out this cutter and lighter and i was like 'oi bullshit dont get that anywhere near my life line!' turns out they were trying to fix the rope something about the threads...
2nd:was for free [our 75 only gave us 2 tries] because this girl was shy on climbing alone...so there i was arms aching and all climbed..up to i think 3/4 but then my arms started to hurt [hey 6-7 months without any training?what do you expect?] so i quit
3rd: tried got to the 1/2 of the wall but damn hands kept on letting go of the 'rocks'
4th:1/4 then got my hands burned...so they decided to just let me stop...
hey even if it was that bad...i wont let that get me down..ill keep on trying until i could climb the horizontal thing...wish me luck!
new sem..new classes....new aura?
i havent upgraded this thing for ages...but i kept on cheq'n it...regularly on our it class yess i have an it class this sem and i was dissapointed because of the thing that they are teaching in that particular class...word?powerpoint?whatever!?like im an idiot in this things..shit...neiwey about the classesi was seperated from my kada!omg..i was so sad because to think that aif[my cousin and my constant comuting buddy] was on sec D and the girls in the alliance was on C and i was left on the middle...section B..i mean i dont have anything against those people they are really cool and all but the aura thing still somehow bothers me...dunno maybe im still adjusting and shit..but somehow things are turning up =] i mean i have a group mow called the bf [bading foundation] founded by pochai the number gay person in our class[hahahha just joking ruby hehe] and im starting to like the people in our class they're all nice and studious and shit but its cool =] and they keep the boring subjects livelier heck even our teache said so..so im hoping that with in 5 months of our classes and extensive bonding[i hope] i would grow to love them because for sure as hell that i already respect them =]
in search of something...
no its not a boy!not even a thing...then what is it you ask?my happiness...that carefree happiness taht i used tohave before that earth shattering event..i know move on and shit and yes i think im on my way to that and not having a cell is helping and having a new crush too heheheh neiwey about tha that happiness im gonna look for it even if i have to go surfing or climb all that wall thing even if i have to sing all that happy or mushy song in our class ill do it!i want that blinding happiness again..that thing that even that dreaded WHY cant ruin...so from now on if i really have to talk to everyone or even be extra genki and gay and all ill do it...i want that thing that i have lost to someone not even worth it and maybe...befriend him again to stop this stupid bullshit between us....
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after13.11.04....
hmmm confused..totally... do i or do i not?the freaking L word...
first thing first...we went to our province last oct 30 i think and that was..a drag...i mean there was nothing and i mean nothing to do in alfonso...a book kept me sane for our 24 hours stay...shit...neiwey...our cousin paolo was so cute..here he is...neiwey...he was the cutest baby ive ever seen heheh :D but also the heaviest..to think that it was only about 10 mins of holding him in my left arm...and after that i cant even raise my arm up..he's that heavy! oh yeah our tito glenn had a new baby son..and his name is...jomar glenn[ehem] that i think was born sometin 29 omg...wat a frickin coincidence...Bullshit... after that we went to naic..and i guessed that was when my confusion began...first there was the 'sleeping' i did in our van in which i tried to sleep and ended up pretending to sleep just to not look outside...then as always we rode the motorbike there just to kill time...then after one 'sermon' we just stayed in the house and watched all that weird horror specials...so when i was enjoying myself with all that nonsense[that i think was suppose to leave me sleepless and scared..yeah right] someone by some miracle texted me [i was using my mom's fone at this time because my fone was busted...stupid little thing] ang guess who it was...well who else...it was glenn...so ill try to think of the exact things that i said and he said...so...: x files: oi slip k n b?gnda mo ata ngaun ha..glit k p b? me:ewn ko..leche nan3p pa x:nyeak cge nde n...pro gs2 ko lng tlga mlman kng glit k me: glit?ewn ko neiwey cge gudlck n lng senyo x:pro glit k p nga? me:ewn ko nga.bkt k b ngsosori?pra maalis ung guilty feeling? x:oo me:bkt anu b gs2 mo manyari? x:gs2 ko mging friend[xa ngsbi nyan!] tau me:bkt?pra nga maalis ung guilty n feeling? x:oo nman! cge n pumayag n u ga2win ko lhat pra mging frnd tau! [exact words] me:selfish! ewn ko sau... so that was the end of that conversation....then next day we all went to the cemetery and i was just there playing card with my cousins and all and there he was..that freakin 'mumu'...with the other mumu [original mumu] and i thought i was already safe cuz hey i didnt think that he would come and walk and stay in front of the van in which we decided to stay and listen to the radio to kill time..damn karma...[i was teasing my sister before about her 'mumu'] and there he was..damn it...and when i saw him...i dunno my heart pumped so hard that i needed a book to distract myself or else ill throw it to him and scream something...arggghh...or so i thought..now that i thought about it..i dunno why my heart did that heavt pumping thing...scared?yes i think so..i was scared of my ghost...my ghost of that particular painful past......that was i think the start of the confusing part of my already "im-making-myself-believe-to-be-stable-life-so-shut-the-fuck-up"
alam kong ginagago lng ako nun kausap ko pro sbi nya...'kht anu pra sau kht mundo pa...' wow..ang sarap pakinggan...db??
oh yeah made an entry after the text thing:
cl me picky pro ang gs2 ko tlga kpg msma ang ngwa sken e un 'sori' nya e d dhl s guilt lng nya kng d dhl gs2 nya tlga mgsori pra s ngwa nyang mli..un nmn tlga dpt db?cguro kya d kta mptwad kc alm k n out of guilt lng ung sori m...kc alm k n kya m lng snsbi un kc its based on your own selfish need to b ok n 2 gt rid of dt guilt that in fact is holdin u bck frm smtin so dt erases d prev statement of guilt bcz of wt uv orig dne...n d sense of the word 'sori'
then there was also this 'guy' [up to now i still dont trust him that much..and i dont think i could trust anyone without seeing them face to face and seeing thier eyes..] who said he was vince [even more suspicious...] who was 16 and a male and from what he said he was from qc...anyway my first question was...'how the hell did he got my number?and if so..who the hell is this creep?' so we argued about that..i kept on asking and he kept on insisting that he just randomly choose it from his fave #s [yeah right bullshit] then my cousin who i knew had an idea [or anything] about the mysterious person came so naturally i asked him and asked if he knew that number...then there it was...and yes it was a vince..a vince nazareno...so i told him that i already know who he is so he fess up and told me that he got it from glenn [i dunno if he got it or glenn gave it to him but hell..i dont wanna ask anymore] neiwey..so i thought this guy has nothing to do with the thing that happened between us so why ignore him so we texted and then wed night he asked me the question that i kept on dodging...it was simple really..."nagmove on ka na ba kay glenn?" i was stumped..i didnt know what to say because i really didnt think about it because i thought it would complicate things..and it did... because honestly i dont know myself..so i just said yeah im over him but still a little bitter about it...and he said that he understand that kinda shit so i didnt have to say anything because that happened to his last gf...so he understand if i still luv him or misses him...and my mind went blank..wait a minute...did i still love him?do i still crave for him?do i still love him?those questions all went into my mind in a flash and i cant think of any answer..so i just replied...miss..yeah i think so but love..the hell not...[i said it without knowing if i meant it...] and he left it at the thankfully...but it really got me thinking and oh yeah there was this one time that he said that he was angry with glenn because of the things he did to me and i just said he dont be mad at him [because he is still your friend even though i thanked him for that] and just let me be the one to be mad as hell...that also got me thinking...did i still cared for him to make others like him even if he did that?do i? i have no fucking idea!!
so...i opted on asking the stars [literally] one night on our way home from ek...then i was intent on asking them thinking that they do hold the answers that i was looking for then i just turned away for a second then they were gone all the stars...the clouds blocked my view..then the lights...bright lights from the city...heck...i think it was a way of telling me that only i could give the answer that i was looking for and im hoping and reaaalllyy realllyy hoping that they would come to me someday...and hopefully face my ghost and burry the bad memories with him...and the good ones..in a special place in my mind...
the EK experience!!!
yeah we went to ek and it was a blast!i never thought that ek could be so..distracting heheh nah that was just the bonus of it all..i mean it was really really cool plus all the great people that i was with that day...its just awesome...i missed my kada(sisc kada)[alliance] terribly when i had no way of contacting them...and that EK experience was enough to keep me smiling the whole entire day...its just so fun...so im hoping for a repeat with other people with us [the original 6] so it would be much more fun =] so neiwey we were there from 10 am to 7 pm and we went to all the rides and really did have a grand finale with the carousel ride [pony...:D] and that wonderful pic at the end..even though we were soaking wet from all that rio grande [in which we didnt stop not until julius was wet because he was always the 'lucky one' to not to get wet...while all of us were like dipped on the icky water] and log jam and not to mention the rain [yes it was raining but it didnt stop us!] it was all ok =] the bump ride was really fun because we kept on targeting one person and bumping him all through out the ride heheh and my fear..the space shuttle was actually really really fun in the beggining i was really scared especially with the vertical and sudden drop thing then after it all it was just so fun!!the loop that kept on bring my hands down and trying to keep my eyes shut but hell i was determined to see and feel it all even if it meant my death...oh...i was so morbid...especially on that ferris wheel ride...because of that i was like a freaking moron holdin on the bars..then when the sight of the whole place from above [especially at night] welcomed me..i was like oh wow! forget that fucked up imagination of yours the sight was to die for anyway...so i set my fear aside and just gushed and 'ooohed' and 'aaahhhed' at the sight it was soooo cooool =] so yeah i think i learned from that ferris wheel ride the most =] set your fear and doubts aside because behind that the world is such a beautiful place to be living in =]
i try to fool myself to think ill be alright] ...how true......[12]
Another Beach Bum slept after4.11.04....