·cHa_12·
·right now im feeling...
aka:cHa|chatoh|charisse|chic¤
loves to play basketball¤optimistic?
¤cheerful¤bubbly?¤
childlish¤hates school hehe Ü
¤slow...=þ¤loves the
number 12[duuuhh]¤always[?]infatuated
never inlove...;)¤confused¤observant
¤addicted to candy[anykind]
¤LOVES to eat¤
and will eat almost anything in sight hehe
¤quiet when uncomfortable¤likes
boys hihi ;]¤sweet to anyone..i think
¤im cute! hey
its my blog...let me do my thing hehe
¤i think im nice...kinda..i dunno
¤insomiac¤artistic
¤always smiling¤carefree!
¤not a responsible student hehe¤
boorkworm..hehe¤matalas ang dila hahaha!¤
i suck at english!¤not easily afraid¤
strong outside but actually sensitive..¤
hopeless romantic¤a typhical libra¤
a die hard iverson fan!!¤simple¤quiet¤
easily ammused¤loves to draw,and i think im good¤
hypeeeerrrr haha!jke!¤i love my friends and i treasure them o so much
¤opinionated¤i dont know how to relase my anger[i think ill
die from this one day eheh]¤punkrock princess¤
chocoholic¤always behing the looking glass¤
angelic?devilish?¤always broke¤
always concerned¤
·Links·
*bloggers:
ciAring
fel_chris
ang idol ko =]
luisa
trisha
marmie
liezl
charlie
jovellita
shahira!
therese
terrie
trishiyeah
adrian
mulan's sensitive reaction
pao_15
kakai
pao_blu_18
others...
weztzyd kada site
dynamic drive provides dhtml..
javascript another one
how to keep an idiot busy hehe
fanfiction.net want something to read?
open mind : ignorance
·bLog stuff·
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help?
I CAN BLAG!
archives
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to you:
its been weird, i know.
i'm not the easiest person to understand and not one of those who can easily say what they mean, i speak in phrases that maybe only my mind can decode. i guess you should already know that, we've known each other for years now.
yes that song from death cab. its been playing in my head for sometime now, and the thing is.. its true. and maybe this is the 'better' maybe she's the one that will go on and give you what you needed when we were together.
or fuck it, maybe this is my karma.
but you know what, for whatever the reason is, i know one thing is for sure.. i did this cause all i want from the beginning (and i honestly think that I've said it to you a million times already) is for you to be happy. whatever the cost is.
but the thing is.. i cant do all that shit if i need to be all friendly again.. i cant be all happy and shit while everything that came crashing that day is well, still in ruins. i cant pick up everything and pretend to be happy and be all fucked up and sincere while saying 'congrats' and shit. i just cant..
so im just asking for some time.. a lil time for me to suck it all up.. all those fears that this song made me realize.. i cant face that fucked up fear that i've lost my chance to be with someone that will take and accept me for all the good and the bad. the weird stuff and all.
and maybe it is my karma.
because you know what sometimes i can still see it, how i want my future to be, remember those two dogs and a simple house? yeah they are still there in my head, waiting to be turned into some kind of reality. but the thing is i cant be selfish to think that i can still have that after everything. i cant expect you to wait forever while i adjust and fix all my shit..
you deserve better.
you need to be on the spotlight too. you need to be the cherished one; the goddamn flower in the gardener-flower story slash relationship.
and i dont want to hinder that from happening.
so go on.. be happy.
maybe someday (hopefully in the next few months days) i can sincerely say 'congrats" as i walk pass you and her and smile that smile that you know that is true.
but for now, let me pick up the pieces, let me see the consequences of what I have pushed you to do. let me stand and believe that i can do it on my own and face that god awful fear, because i never want to use you in any way to boost what little morale that i have. i never wanted anything more than to see you smile like how you used to smile when everything makes you happy.
i want to see that again someday.
and please always remember that like how Coelho once described love..
it'll never spoil.
[i try to fool myself to think ill be alright]
Another Beach Bum slept after2.2.12....